Sunday, May 20, 2007


Someone give me $5,000 for a '65 mustang that I saw in the Iwanna ads.


Thursday, May 17, 2007

Of morbid facinations and 'possum flingin'

Be forwarned, I'm about to talk about animal death in a non-sympathetic way.

So apparently a baby possum fell into Ozzy's pen last night and died. This is the second time something like this has happened (last time a rat drowned in his water bucket), and it upsets him greatly. He hasn't left his dog house all day. So after dinner it was deemed my job to go get the possum off of his little porch and move it...somewhere. The destination wasn't exactly discussed, just agreed that it needed to be out of Ozzy's area. So I went out, let him run about the fenced in back yard, grabbed the shovel, and made my way to the crime scene. Now at first, we thought Ozzy had killed it 'cause it had gotten in his pen from the tree above- maybe it was going after his food like the birds do. To tell the truth, I was kind of excited that he had killed something. I know, I'm weird, but I like the idea of my pets having a savage side to them; this is part of the reason why I aggravate the crap out of Yoda until he snarls at me. It's just so cute! I also think that "eat your face" dogs are the cutest ever. Ya know, doberman pinchers, rotties, bull terriers, bulldogs in get the picture. Oh by the way, Aarin, what do you think the chances are that we'll run into your neighbor's dog when I come to visit? Anywho...turns out the possum hadn't been torn into...I know cuz I looked. So I guess it should fell from the tree and died when it hit the porch. Poor Ozzy, possums just fallin' out of the sky...

I approached the possum with caution....I was actually terrified that it was playing dead (that is what they do, after all) and was waiting for Ozzy to leave in order to escape. So here I was, weilding a big ass shovel, just waiting for it to pounce. I imagined it lungeing toward me, leaving me no choice but to smack it with the shovel and starting what probably isn't the first ever game of possum baseball. So after wrestling it onto the shovel (it's foot was stuck in a groove of the porch >_<), I then carried it out and stood there, trying to decide where to put it. I opted to fling it onto the embankment. That's right, fling. The poor little thing was send zinging through the air, much like the cows and ducks in Monty Python and The Holy Grail.

I think I'm going to a special hell lol.

Monday, May 14, 2007


Umm...dun ask about the title.

So I realized that I haven't posted since the I figured I should say something. First, let me point out that I'm really not the sentimental type except in very rare occasions, and over the past two weeks I've had two moments and they didn't last longer than ten minutes. The first was during the first week home. I went to my Uncle Glen's house to see if he was done with the sales paper (I needed to clip coupons and there wasn't a single paper left in town), Terry warned me as we walked in that he might not remember me cuz he's been acting a little old-crazy lately, so I braced myself for the same conversations I used to have with Mamaw. I came in and the first thing he said to me was "Hey there little'un!" Ok, so he doesn't remember my name, but what of it! He does remember who I am and he imediately started asking me questions about school and stuffs. The next day he came to the house (he hasn't been here in YEARS) to congratulate me more on my graduation and patted me on the head. Now, you have to understand that that's pretty much the equivilant of getting recognition from my dad, and ya'll should know how important that is because I don't have one.

The other moment was at the ceremony, the best line of which happened during a speech given by a real southern woman who reminded me of Paula Deen, cept with an NC accent. She said "Now, my high school was so small that we used the same car for both driver's education and sex education." There was a tiny delay before the audience burst out in laughter. She brougth up Madison county too, and I was all "wooo!" and so were five other people in the audience...who just happened to be sitting next to my mom lol. Funny huh? But next moment happened when they asked the parents to stand up because they're the reason we're here and what not. I got a little teary eyed because all I could think of was how my mom was able to rub my success in other relatives faces, she could now say "HEY! Look what came out of me!! I am NOT a bad mother!!" Her words, not mine lol.