Dear Spider Queen,
Please tell your minions to GTFO. I'm tired of seeing a spider every time I turn around. Seriously, this has got to stop. It's not that I can't coexist with them...I just feel threatened and will kill them on sight. But this can be avoided. Just keep your minions *inside* our walls, around the general perimiter, and under the house. There are lots of food sources out there and I won't have chest pains anymore.
See how we all win?
You're friendly neighborhood aracnophobe,
And now I give you this: