Tuesday, October 30, 2007

Pardon Me Just a Moment...

If you are my mother: Please move along. There is nothing to see here. *waves hand in front of your face* This is not the blog you are looking for. Now back to the blog.

Shit fuck bitch bananas it's cold outside!

Seriously. No one warns me about these things! I mean, I knew it'd be pretty chilly, so I put on my hoodie...but shit, you can't spring cold like that on a girl first thing in the morning! See, I needed the car so I can run an errand this morning. I was originally gonna come back home, take a shower, and then go do my thang, but fuck that shit. If I go out with wet hair before noon today I'LL DIE. My hair has a few hours before it'll start to look greasy, and by then I'll have completed my errand and can take a shower without having to go outside.

By the way, I felt you guys should all know that I'm eating, what I like to call, a death biscuite. Well, it's actually on an English Muffin, but I love those too much to associate them with this break fast item. They're really called Breakfast DeLights or some other equally cliche` diet food name, and are the only diet food that I didn't beg to have in the house. It has eggs white, fake!sausage, and cheese on it. I finally just started picking the frozen disk o' egg white off of it and throwing it away XD I call them death biscuites because they cause horrible, agonizing pain in my tummy. So why am I eating one? Well, it was either this or mac and cheese for breakfast, and I just didn't have the patience to boil water.

Today is the day before Halloween. I know you guys know that, but I had to say it cuz...well...STFU. No, but really my town is silly. All the chil'ren have to ToT (why does that remind me of doin a B&E? Damn you Dane Cook...), tonight instead of tomorrow because tomorrow's Wednesday and they're afraid the the chil'rens will want to go get free candy instead of listening to some lecture about God. I can see their concern. Though, really, I would have just used that opportunity to hold a haunted house at the church as a fundraiser or something....I dunno. I do know that we're the only town in the county that has decided to do this. People like my mom are trying to make a big religious in-tollerence comment about it, but I don't think that's what it is. It's not about what holiday it is, it's the fact there will be free candy and ya know, they're just kids. They aren't going to want to go to church if free candy is involved. It just seems easier to they to have the chil'rens ToT on a different day. Though, honestly, all the little chil'ren could probably get their ToTing done before time for service, or they could go after and still not be out too late. But whatever. It's not my call.

Having said all of this, I would like to point out that me and momma didn't carve our pumpkins. Why? Well, momma was being a snotface. Ok, well, she had a headache and didn't feel all in the 'Weeny spirit. I think she was still mad at me about the books thing, personally. That and I kept thinking I had 'til Wednesday. So after I take my shower, I will have to sit outside and demolish carve my pumpkin. I dunno if my mom will do the other one or not 'cause she doesn't get off work until 5pm and the really little chil'ren will have started their walk by then. Well, some will, anyway. It was also decided that we are, indeed, hadning out candy this year. My mom bought some yesterday (though some of it melted in the band and now the rest is sticky T_T), and the plan is to have me sit out on the porch all night with the candy. We would have people knock like normal individuals, but that'll drive the dogs nuts, and then us nuts by proxy. Relax kids, I'll have my laptop out there at some point, so don't be afraid of missing me. I dunno what to do about our pumpkins though...'cause I'll have to "light" them with my spare glowsticks, but you won't be able to see them all glowy and neat with the porch light on (which as everyone knows, is the national signal of I HAVE CANDY).

Do you think they will still ToT at our house if the porch light is off? I mean, I will be out there afterall.

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